Oprah Dreams

4/3/2009I had this dream last night:I’m in a large modern office building and I meet Oprah Winfrey who is sitting at one of the cubicles in a sea of cubicles. She’s very friendly and seems genuinely excited to see me. She confides that one of her legs is fake. What happened? “Oh, I ate my leg. Just a little off the ankle at first, but I couldn’t stop myself.” Disturbed, I walk away and find a very crowded Men’s room. Oprah follows me in and keeps looking at my goods while I’m trying to pee and then keeps trying to fondle me. There’s more of me trying to get away, going back in when less crowded, but she follows me again. The toilets are odd, as well. It’s like they have no bottom, but the liquid flushed along the sides and loops up and down in impossible ways, and truly just makes no sense. Meanwhile, Oprah is actually climbing up so she can look over the stall wall into my stall to watch me pee, and she again stretches to try and feel my junk.I zip up, think of her eating her leg and am disgusted until I suddenly remember a Family Guy cartoon where Oprah was randomly eating everything in site, “food, furniture, etc.” and I remember the cartoon ended with Oprah’s big cartoon mouth opening up and swallowing her whole body so that she’s gone. And I wonder if the writer’s were in on the secret that Oprah had eaten her leg, and then I started laughing uncontrollably and woke up.The End_______________________________