Pledge Drive Me Crazy

Summer, 2001
So, as a new member of Atlanta Gay Men's Chorus, I figure I'll do my part and volunteer (with eight other guys from the chorus of 100)to answer phones at the local PBS TV station (WPBA-30) pledge drive. We answered phones for a three hour block (three and a half, actually) while they showed Donnie Osmand's concert THIS IS THE MOMENT and also Riverdance: Feet of Flames. Well, my first clue that something wasn't quite right in Kansas was this: I got there early and was watching the folks in the block before me. It was a live pledge break. You know how it goes...cheesy people in front of the camera talk and talk and talk, saying the same thing over and over while nobodies in the background busily answer phones which are ringing, ringing, ringing. Well, about 80-90% of those folks were on active calls, BUT as soon as they went off air, every last one of them HUNG UP THEIR PHONE. I thought to myself, "Nuh-uh.... They WEREN'T just faking it, were they?" I just knew it couldn't be true.... So, I went in where the food is (free Italian, quite ok) and met up with the 8 other guys from Chorus and the three other people we shared the slot with.....an Indian Flute Circle. They were low in numbers, so of the three Indian guys, one brought his wife to help. I think she handled her nervousness at being the only female with lots of gay men by becoming super gregarious and talkative. We waited to be trained....they trained us in five minutes....and YES, they trained us how to make our own phones ring and to FAKE LIKE WE WERE GETTING LOTS OF PLEDGES. We were even told to ring a little desk bell every once and a while like we took a pledge.

I was flabbergasted....These people, telling me to lie, are the same ones who showed me Sesame Street and Electric Co. when I was little? So, the first pledge break, I decided NOT to fake it. Well, for rebels like me, they had a backup plan...They can ring the phone remotely.... SO, they ring me, I pick up and no one is there....so I just held it to my ear. But then I realized the incentive to lie was this....if you are 'on a phone' and having an 'animated conversation' they get a close up of you on TV and everyone can see you.

After two breaks, only one of us had a pledge, and I actually got one call too, but they said they had to "wait for their husband to get home." Poor woman. THEN, the announcer stated who we were....Atlanta Gay Men's Chorus. Well, THEN the phones rang!!

I got a live call:
ME: "Thank you for calling WBPA-30! How much would you like to pledge?"
HER: "Uhm, ...I have some questions, first. Uhm....what do your T-shirts say?"
ME: (reading from my shirt) "AGMC, Atlanta Gay Men's Chorus, 20th Season 1981-2001"
HER: "And, what is that exactly?"
ME: "Well, we get together and sing. We have three major concerts a year, one at Christmas, one in the spring, and one is coming up in about a mo-"
HER: (interrupting slightly) "Yes, but...well,....WHO sings in it? Gay men?"
ME: "Well, yes, ma'am."
HER: "Well, how ..I mean....what is the connection between that and Donnie Osmand? Is HE gay?"
ME: "No ma'am, not to my knowledge. In fact I think he was just talking about his wife and kids."
HER: "Ok, well, thanks." and she hangs up, truly sounding dissastisfied with my answers. So, I protected Donnie's good name, I guess....
Then someone else had a lady call to say she wouldn't pledge cuz "PBS is supporting AGMC." My fellow chorus member was unable to explain that they WEREN'T supporting us, AGMC was supporting PBS. !!!! And to top it all off, I raise my hand after the third pledge break and ask, "If we are all on calls faking them, what happens if a real phone call comes in and all the lines are busy?" the answer: "Oh, ...they're rolled over to the back where people who are getting paid answer them." But, I must commend the three Indian Flute Guys, who with no complaint and lots of laughter, were willing to sit right behind the Atlanta Gay Men's Chorus banner.
Bravo!!!