The Skinny Dipping Incident

A FUNNY FROM SEPTEMBER FLORIDA TRIP:
So……I’m like the only one here at this guest house just off the beach in FTL. It’s smallish, middle of week, off season. There may be one other room occupied. I debate going for a 2:30AM skinny dip last night before going to bed in the lovely salt water pool. My room is up on the balcony. I step out to ensure there is no one in the courtyard. I peer over the balcony, and LO! it is deserted. Looking forward to a naughty, au-natural dip, I turn to go back in to the room to grab my towel. As I complete my turn, I see the door swing close with a click.
It’s locked.
I’m naked.
No towel.
No robe.
Not a stitch.
No key.
No cell phone....and the manager/owner does not live onsite.
I tried to use my mental powers to unlock my door, but it won’t budge. I then tried to break in thru my window… no go. (In retrospect, I thought it interesting I tried my mental powers first.) I try the mental powers again. Willing it to NOT BE just doesn't work.

I go down to the office area. I see a sign that they open at 9AM. I lay down in a lawn chair by the pool thinking I can nap under the stars, but it starts to sprinkle and the skeeters start biting.
I go back to the office, and use the phone they have perched there with a number for ‘emergencies’. I wasn't postive this qualified as an emergency for THEM, but it certainly was one for ME.
The man was not happy to have to come let me in. To his credit, he made no mention of the fact that I was naked as the day I was born. I got the feeling it was not an uncommon occurrence. Of course, to compensate for feeling so stupid and vulnerable, I did the best eye contact- stare-at-him “I DARE YOU TO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT IT” look that I could muster. I had tried to keep a bush between us, but that didn’t work out for long. I had also weighed the merits of using one of those neon lime-green noodle floaties from the pool, but was fearful that may come off as even more obscene.